The Price is Right, Bob!!

What is it worth to you? That is a pretty common and simple question yet, in my opinion, the basis upon which path your life's choices will lead you. In basic terms, everything and, (all too unfortunately) everyone has a price. The oversimplified assimilation of that term coincides with money. But to spend just a little more time thinking about it would reflect back upon you the esoteric meaning of the price paid or price willing to be paid. Price meaning sacrifice, dedication, focus, is more along the lines in my train of thought. As in the game show with Bob Barker, I want to know the correct price for my dream showcase.

I have been told for as long as I can remember that I work too hard or that I am too serious. I have been called someone with a heavy-head (I assume a southern vernacular) and in my native Haitian kreyol language - "tetecharje", loosely translated to a mind in disarray. This is because I constantly have ideas, sometimes connected, sometimes more dreams, sometimes idealistic and fantastic all at the same time. My wife calls me a dreamer who does not always deal with reality. I agree with her about the dreaming but not the reality. Doesn't everything start with a dream or desire of some sort? Dreams are not always dreams of fantasy. They can be visions or goals too. Not every goal or vision or dream in life will be met but none of them will be met if you do not pursue and at least try. Anything you will be, do, or accomplish in life for yourself or those you love comes with a measure of price. The question you always have to answer to yourself at some point along the way always boils down to the price. The value of the price you are willing to pay lies in the value of the dream to you. What is it worth to you to be happily married versus just married? To stick to your value system no matter what? To truly and honestly devote to your priorities? To lose the last 10, 15, 20 pounds towards your goals for weightloss? To save money for your next big purchase, college tuition fund, etc.? To teach yourself something new that requires time and effort and practice? Only you know the answers, which lie in your innermost thoughts and being. I love sports for so many reasons including the fact that I was an athlete in a different time of my life. Every successful athlete or coach has the same exact story. They tell the story of sacrifice and practice when it was early in the morning, late at night, bad weather, being motivated to "make it" for themselves or their family, etc. The same story applies to so many doctors, lawyers, politicians (our President is an example), and those from every other walk of life. The only difference is the context. At some point, the price was a bargain to accomplish that which they dreamed to be or have. All of the people that I personally know who seem to be successful in the same avenues that I am trying to pursue, whether family, business, finance , careers share the same belief that the proverbial cash register never shows the balance as being paid. They willingly continue to find the worth and value in paying the price to give life and make a reality of their ever-evolving and changing goals and dreams. This a fundamental concept I strive to pass on to my daughter to help her find her dreams and successes. Hopefully along the way, the price will also be right for me and my dream showcase.

Spring Cleaning....

We have reached that time of year again...you guessed it by the title..Spring Cleaning. It is the time that everyone claims is a time for the change in one's life that matches the change of seasons. New leaves and buds in the flowers and trees symbolize the newest next chapter in one's life. In a less figurative sense, it is also the time that people start cleaning, painting, landscaping, etc. It is the next chapter of the New Year's resolution, the timeless tradition of broken promises that accompany the start of the calendar.

I fall somewhere in between as I love the new dawn of a spring and ensuing summer season. I just enjoy warm weather as it takes me back to a younger phase of life. The next sports season started, summer was imminent, and your time and life became your own as you completed the next level of your evolution by completing that particular grade or graduating from middle school, high school, college, new job, marriage, etc.. It is about the promise of the next step, the idea that the next bigger, better opportunity is waiting for you to find or create.

Fast forward to present-day. Life happens....right? Work, bills, and all the accoutrement that is the mundane and monotony of routine in adult life. Yet somehow, I never lose the accompanying excitement and buzz that comes with the first wisps of warm sunlight and longer days. I find it easier to re-establish a workout routine, motivate and find more of the creative energy that seems to correlate directly to the presence of warmth, sun, and longer days. Hibernation time is now over and like the birds, insects, and plants that begin to stretch, wiggle, and move noisily indicating their return to prominence and bluster, I find myself ready to make moves. So as the latest version of spring madness has arrived and I commence to generate my plans, business, vacation, family and everything in between, for the upcoming season. I try to take stock of where I am in my own level of evolution and progress. Have I progressed from last year ? If so, what facets of my life have undergone progress? Where do I need to spend my time and efforts to "clean" in and around my world? No matter the year....count me in as it begins...

BIrthday introspections

So this is my first blog as I have been on the fence for quite some time as to whether I would actually take time to put thoughts, feelings, ideas out there on paper(er..computer screen) for all to see and read. I am not sure of the format or structure but I think that is the point of blogging. Freedom of expression. Today is as good a time as any since it is my birthday and a beginning to another year of my life. Another year to look back on and another one to look forward to and plan my next round of successes, conquests, and most importantly, growth.

Today I am 36 years old. 36. Almost 4 decades. I can remember very clearly 20 years ago what I was doing, thinking, feeling. Hi-top fade, saggy jeans, bright colored party shirts among the collection of things and styles that consisted of my attempt to find and establish myself. At that point in time was when I received my first recruiting letters to go to college, realized that I wanted, no, needed to find a bigger and different pond than Piscataway, NJ to swim in, and started chasing the idea of being completely my own person and hanging out with the crowd of me first, and everyone else second. Trying to sort out the hype from the reality of being a black man in this world and also figuring out how being the son of a foreign black man was different in the United States than just being American. Those ideas, struggles, good and bad times all resonate with me today. I could have easily been just another kid who went down the right or wrong path but ended up seeing a bit of both. That being said, it was drilled into my head that I am different and as the saying goes, to whom much is given, much more is expected.

So where am I today? The biggest thing that I realize about this phase of my life is that I have no reference point for this stage of my life. As a teenager, life is moving fast and you are trying to outrun it, trying to be older than you are at every step along the way. When you are 16, you want to be 18 and a senior in high school with your license and car to drive around and be cool. When you are 18, you want to be 21 so that you can get into all the "cool" places to be legal, drink, etc. Along the way, things start to change as you start thinking about being 30, a grown up with a mortgage, married, kids, etc. For me, all of those things seemed so much bigger than me before I reached those various stages. Then at each mental checkpoint, you realize that this can be done. Why? Because you have no choice. Life keeps moving whether you are sitting and watching it go by or running and working through it. At some point, as you get older, you make a choice to try and complete the puzzle in becoming the person that you want or hope to be. I believe that regrets for the most part are self-inflicted. If you make a choice that does not work out, it is not to be regretted but taken for what it is as a lesson or experience from which to grow. Regrets are a way of not accepting that life is bigger than you and not everything is meant to work out in your favor.

So at the ripe old age of 36, my reference points do, in fact, exist. They come from my foundation of choosing between right and wrong, my past choices that led me to understand consequences, good or bad, and lastly being a grown man with responsibilities. Now all of this does not mean that I do not have a ton left to learn. It just means that I have something and somewhere that can be considered a starting point. I think that one of my biggest strengths and probably also one of my biggest weaknesses is that I have very little ability to be content and accepting of where I am or what I have accomplished. I believe in my heart of hearts that success comes to those who actually want it by trying to do a little more and a little better every day. So this thought keeps me going and wanting to be a better person which will help me be a better husband, a better dad, and a better businessman, in precisely that order. I don't know if it is working but the last 20 years have been an amazing ride with so many more highs and blessings than lows. I look forward to the upcoming stages that will consist of the next 20 days, month, and/or years.